The Fine Line

Last night at a friend's birthday party, a girlfriend of mine said to me, "Yet again, Taylor, here's the line," She made an imaginary line down the middle of the table, "and here we have you." At this, she indicated with her other hand my position in her mental diagram. I had clearly crossed that invisible line of self restraint.

"Well how was I to know dead baby jokes had gone out of style at the dinner table," I asked. Clearly, this was a revelation to me, or so I wanted my co-diners to believe.

As far back as I can remember, I've had a knack for making people squirm. Certainly, this dates back to a desperate craving for attention my childhood self had experienced. I remember an interview I read once, of a Mr. Johnathan Waters. If you've ever seen Pink Flamingos, Serial Mom or Hair Spray, then you undoubtedly know something of the sick and twisted mind that is John Waters. Licking dead animal heads, smell-o-vision (BRILLIANT), eating fresh poodle shit - nothing seemed out of his long putrid grasp.

Digressing... In this interview, Mr. Waters sights an experience in his early childhood as a pivitol point in the development of his vulgar disposition. At some point, I'm guessing around his late single digits, Mr. Waters came across a certain disgusting painting. What this painting was of, who it was by, the materials used in it's creation - these tid bits escape me. All you need to know is that this piece of art was horrid. Probably something like an exploding sack of feces, blood and circus freaks.

John brought what he thought to be a remarkable find out to show his mother and some guests at a tupperware party (or something - again, memory serves me only to an extent). Needless to say, the company found the picture revolting. I'm guessing that the young Mr. Waters received quite the reaction from his mother. He told the interviewer that it was at that particular moment he realized he had a sort of power over people.

So on he went, taking his seat well on the other side of the invisible line of manners. He lapped up the negative attention and made not only a life style, but living and an impact on modern culture. Congratulations are in order, I believe, Mr. Waters. Thank you for dulling society's sense of shock enough to allow a few dead baby jokes to slip through the cracks.