Oh, Miss Lisa Marie Nowak. You certainly have gotten yourself into some hot water. Where to begin?...Probably the first thing we should touch on is the pepper spray incident. Unless you are in a situation where you are being attacked, it is never, repeat: NEVER, acceptable behavior to pepper spray into a co workers car through an open window - just not proper etiquette. Especially for a mother of three. What kind of message does it send to your children, Ms Nowak?
Speaking of family, donning a pair of 'Oops, I Crapped My Pants' adult diapers and driving halfway across the country to confront your lover-on-the-side's crush at an airport is a big No-No. What did you think would happen when you arrived? Did you expect Ms Shipman to simply come along for a nice ride with you to your room at the Best Western? What if there had been a struggle? Can you imagine how embarrassing it would have been for both of you if she had struggled, and in the ensuing wrestling match your diaper were to come undone, spraying both of you with 13 hours worth of urine and feces?Wearing an outlandish and ludicrous costume in public. Oh really, Ms Nowak? Outside of Halloween and special events, wearing a costume in public is not lady-like behavior. If one must don a disguise, a certain degree of fashion and tact should be adhered to. A ratty wig and tattered trech coat will not do.
Think how uncomfortable your neighbors on the shuttle must have been. Looking over to find a disheveled woman with a cheap and obvious wig, smeared makeup and an adult diaper partially concealed (and possibly leaking) beneath a shoddy trench coat would make even hardened travelers wince.
In closing, Ms Nowak, I hope that you've learned how important etiquette is in daily life. Because of your lust for fellow astronaut, Bill Oefelein, you have catapulted your family and coworkers into a scandalous predicament. It is my sincere hope that you take this time that you are removed from society to reflect on your life and decide which is more important, revenge or a loving family. Best of luck, Ms Nowak. Before you are whisked away, you might want to take a look-see at Ms Stewart's blog. I believe she still has some tips for keeping a respectable jail cell. (It's a good thing.)
1 comment:
Is the guy even hot? Man, he better be hot. And the cop who had to do the pat down, poor fella. Bless his heart, he's the real victim.
T:> Keep it up, you and your work are the best!
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