Wotta Moron

You've probably seen this before, but it always gets a good laugh. Hopefully it will animate. I should be back by later today for a real post, as opposed to this dribble. Cheers, thanks a lot.

Birthday invitation and music

I decided to put together my own birthday invitation this year. Here's the base. I have a few versions. Might post them. Dunno yet. Have you noticed that you can play music on my blog? It doesn't auto play, cuz damn, it's so annoying when you open some douche-bag's page and their music starts blaring at you. Dreadfully impolite. So click the play button in the upper right corner and hear whatever track I have up for your listening enjoyment. :)

The hot-ti of diz week

f This week we have one Bod Fit Atl, Josh. Josh works as a personal trainer in Atlanta, GA. He's 20-something. Alls I remember is he's what you'd call a whipper snapper. Oh, and here's the kicker, he used to be another 100 lbs of lard! Way to go Joshy boy. You look wonderful. Keep it up (or gain it back - it's your life). You can visit Josh's site here.

More New Orleans

Hello all! I think I'm finally readjusted to the Atlanta weather. I must say, Walking around in a pair of shorts and a tank in February was quite a treat. Ch-Ch-Check out some of the pix I took on my walk about the city of sin and redemption. (No, I don't think that New Orleans is actually known for either of those things, in fact, it sounds more like a Vegas thing... Just go with it, ok?)

I stayed with my buddy Corey in the Warehouse District at this AWESOME loft building that used to be a cotton mill.There was all this cool old machinery and brick about the compound. The builders had just left much of it standing where it was when they found it, making a sort of art thing. Here's a big piece of equipment that's been stationed out in front. I guess they put cotton through it. (Who the hell knows such things?) On my first day down, I did some exploring, and ended up on the river walk.
Friday afternoon we did some walking around the French Quarter area of town. The area was alive with the spirit (or spirits) of Mardi Gras. There were performers, mule rides, mimes, and one of the first parades. Before we left the French Quarter, we stopped to watch a small parade pass by and saw the most interesting costume. This dude was dressed as a dryad of some sort. Watching him move was something out of children's nightmares come to reality. That was pretty much it for the rest of the weekend.

I did have a rather interesting experience on the plane ride back. An elderly woman named Yvonne sat next to me and we chatted away the entire trip back, which incidentally flew by.

It was so very interesting to hear her tell about life back when she was growing up. She told me about her husband, who had died some 26 years ago and she had been married to for 35 years. She said it was love at first sight. She had been out to a dance with another date (Yvonne was quite the looker in her younger days I took it), and left the guy standing on the dance floor to leave with her future husband.

I was nearly in tears by the time we landed. Hearing Yvonne's life story brought me back to reality, and led me to think that perhaps, there is more to life than Prada and the gym. Yvonne kept stressing to me that family is the most important thing in life. I guess our priorities change as we grow.

Maybe I should invest in this 'family' thing.

The Big Easy (no, not me)

Well, New Orleans was a much appreciated break from reality. If you can, in fact, call Atlanta reality. Anywho, I'll have to find some time this week to jot down all my thoughts about that amazing city. The history was palpable. Here's one of my favorite pictures from the trip. It's a monument on the Moon Walk down by the river. Not sure what it's dedicated to, but gosh, what a purty picture!

Funny Girls

Hey Kids,

I'm writing you from the Big Sleazy this afternoon. A very sweet friend of mine fronted me a buddy pass to come down last minute. I'll post later in the weekend or next week about the trip, the food, the entertainment. Expect some tres cute pictures.

Now then, today's post concerns several beautiful, talented and rather funny ladies. First off, a bit of sad news - and unless you've been living under a rock, I'm sure you already know that Ms Anna Nicole Smith has up and died on us. I mean, you can't say you didn't see it coming. From the looks of things on her show, the woman was more drugged up and out than a rhino before surgery. But I do admire her emulation of Ms Monroe right up to the end. Pills, pills and more pills... and then there's the (very trendy) overdose. Well, I may be jumping to conclusions a bit at this point. Perhaps she had been suffering from a severe case of exhaustion. I know it's been plaguing young actresses across the board in Hollywood lately. We can only hope that my littlest darling, Lindsay Lohan, gets her fits of exhaustion under control before it's too late.

All kidding aside, I will miss Anna Nicole Smith. She always brought a smile to my face. Whether you liked her or not, you have to admit that watching that train wreck (over and over again) was entertaining. You'll be missed, Anna.

All right, next up, Miss Streisand! I guess a few months ago in Ft Lauderdale, Babs told a Bush joke at her concert, only to be regaled with a heckling from one of her audience members. In true Diva fashion, Babs stopped the show and told her guest to, "Shut the fuck up! Shut up if you can't take a joke." And then, after a few exchanges of hostile words, told him to leave, and announced, "Give him his money back!"

This is why I love Barbara. I'm not necessarily a huge fan of her music. Of course, she's a legend in her own time (and her own mind), but that kind of 'get the fuck away from my limo' kind of attitude makes me want to kiss the sidewalk she hovers over.

Seriously, if I shelled out $600 for a concert, you can damned well believe that I'd be doing my best to enjoy my time there. Bad mouthing the performer just seems like a waste of time (and moolah!). Kudos to you, Mrs Streisand.

Here's the super dooper fun part. Some queen took the sound bite and made a full song dubbed 'STFU,' (shut the fuck up). Listen to it here.

Third up, we have Evie Harris! If you don't recognize her, go pick up the uber-funny Girls Will Be Girls. Played by the very talented Jack Plotnick, Evie is a cynical, jaded alchoholic mother more concerned with her next lay or lamenting over her spent youth and wrecked career. Her dry critical interactions with everyone in range are sure to bring tears to your eyes.

Anywho, I found this picture of Evie, that little scamp, chuckling it up with Big Bird. Enjoy!

Space Madness...

It's astronauts! It's madness! It's Astronaut Madness!!!

Oh, Miss Lisa Marie Nowak. You certainly have gotten yourself into some hot water. Where to begin?...

Probably the first thing we should touch on is the pepper spray incident. Unless you are in a situation where you are being attacked, it is never, repeat: NEVER, acceptable behavior to pepper spray into a co workers car through an open window - just not proper etiquette. Especially for a mother of three. What kind of message does it send to your children, Ms Nowak?

Speaking of family, donning a pair of 'Oops, I Crapped My Pants' adult diapers and driving halfway across the country to confront your lover-on-the-side's crush at an airport is a big No-No. What did you think would happen when you arrived? Did you expect Ms Shipman to simply come along for a nice ride with you to your room at the Best Western? What if there had been a struggle? Can you imagine how embarrassing it would have been for both of you if she had struggled, and in the ensuing wrestling match your diaper were to come undone, spraying both of you with 13 hours worth of urine and feces?

Wearing an outlandish and ludicrous costume in public. Oh really, Ms Nowak? Outside of Halloween and special events, wearing a costume in public is not lady-like behavior. If one must don a disguise, a certain degree of fashion and tact should be adhered to. A ratty wig and tattered trech coat will not do.

Think how uncomfortable your neighbors on the shuttle must have been. Looking over to find a disheveled woman with a cheap and obvious wig, smeared makeup and an adult diaper partially concealed (and possibly leaking) beneath a shoddy trench coat would make even hardened travelers wince.

In closing, Ms Nowak, I hope that you've learned how important etiquette is in daily life. Because of your lust for fellow astronaut, Bill Oefelein, you have catapulted your family and coworkers into a scandalous predicament. It is my sincere hope that you take this time that you are removed from society to reflect on your life and decide which is more important, revenge or a loving family. Best of luck, Ms Nowak. Before you are whisked away, you might want to take a look-see at Ms Stewart's blog. I believe she still has some tips for keeping a respectable jail cell. (It's a good thing.)

Hottie Der Weekenhiem

This week I'm pimpin out my myspace buddy, Preston Lee. Let's give him a big round of applause, folks! And what a looker he is. Designer by day, model by night, Preston is pimpin hard core out in Los Angeles. Take a gander at some of his hotness, and check out his respective pages: myspace & home page.

The Fine Line

Last night at a friend's birthday party, a girlfriend of mine said to me, "Yet again, Taylor, here's the line," She made an imaginary line down the middle of the table, "and here we have you." At this, she indicated with her other hand my position in her mental diagram. I had clearly crossed that invisible line of self restraint.

"Well how was I to know dead baby jokes had gone out of style at the dinner table," I asked. Clearly, this was a revelation to me, or so I wanted my co-diners to believe.

As far back as I can remember, I've had a knack for making people squirm. Certainly, this dates back to a desperate craving for attention my childhood self had experienced. I remember an interview I read once, of a Mr. Johnathan Waters. If you've ever seen Pink Flamingos, Serial Mom or Hair Spray, then you undoubtedly know something of the sick and twisted mind that is John Waters. Licking dead animal heads, smell-o-vision (BRILLIANT), eating fresh poodle shit - nothing seemed out of his long putrid grasp.

Digressing... In this interview, Mr. Waters sights an experience in his early childhood as a pivitol point in the development of his vulgar disposition. At some point, I'm guessing around his late single digits, Mr. Waters came across a certain disgusting painting. What this painting was of, who it was by, the materials used in it's creation - these tid bits escape me. All you need to know is that this piece of art was horrid. Probably something like an exploding sack of feces, blood and circus freaks.

John brought what he thought to be a remarkable find out to show his mother and some guests at a tupperware party (or something - again, memory serves me only to an extent). Needless to say, the company found the picture revolting. I'm guessing that the young Mr. Waters received quite the reaction from his mother. He told the interviewer that it was at that particular moment he realized he had a sort of power over people.

So on he went, taking his seat well on the other side of the invisible line of manners. He lapped up the negative attention and made not only a life style, but living and an impact on modern culture. Congratulations are in order, I believe, Mr. Waters. Thank you for dulling society's sense of shock enough to allow a few dead baby jokes to slip through the cracks.

Whotta Stud

NEW FEATURE ALERT:

Well I'm happier than a Polish Hairdresser on meth. Hmmm... Ok, maybe not THAT happy. Probably more along the lines of a neglected grandmother on visitor day at the old folks home. So what, you beg to question, is Taylor so tickled about? Well, silly buns, the new feature alert! Not so much about the feature itself. I mean, it's great and all, but, like, you know, I just like new stuff. Oohh, that reminds me, I need to go shopping for some new shoes. ... oh my god, shoes.

Ok, I'm back. I've decided to start posting pictures of hotties here, round about once a week. Can you dig it? I know - It's totally original, right? This week I'm bringing you Corey. This Louissiana native is a boss! He works in pharmacy sales (or something) and tells us, "Yeah man. I love the gym. I'm there 6 days a week." Clearly. Do you have a cot with your name on it for if you need a nap in between sets?